Thoughts on Biblical Femininity - Pt. 2

(Just so you know, I'm not posting Leighton paintings as a model for how all women should dress. :-)

Continuing my thoughts from my first post (which covered points 1-4 below) in this, a multi-part letter to my sisters in Christ. If you haven't read the first one, please do. It's foundational.

Before I begin, I want to mention something that a commenter reminded me of. These things are really thoughts I'm putting out there- discussion points. Different Christians will be more or less prone to different areas. So this isn't like a "checklist"- it's a list of discussion points and things to think about. Ultimately, if Scripture says it, it's true. If I say it- check it with Scripture.

A godly woman whom I would want to spend my life with...

1. Is about her Father's business and her father's business. And she isn't waiting for me. I will explain.
2. Is very intelligent- and not just in a sharp, high-IQ, witty way, but especially in a studious and wise way.
3. Is prepared to learn, to change, to repent, to forgive, and to submit to my leadership.
4. Is striving to be like Christ. Not because it makes guys like me pay attention, but because it's right.
5. Presents a unified front to our children and others.
6. Is honoring to the men in her life.
7. Is interested in theology and philosophy. Like, really interested. Like, I can discuss eschatology and utilitarianism with her. And she loves it.
8. Loves kids and knows how to handle/raise/teach them.

Point 5


A godly woman whom I would want to spend my life with presents a unified front to our children and others.

Part of her submission to me is her support for me. This means that it's not her and the kids against me or me and the kids against her. We two need to become one flesh. As one goes, so goes the other. So if Johnny tries to play Mom against Dad or Dad against Mom he's gonna get spanked. Twice.

We're unified.

This also means that if neighbor Jane wants the kids to come over for a sleepover and I say "no," she's not going to get a different answer by asking my wife.

In front of our children and in front of the world around us, we're together. She's not only submitting to me, but she's supporting and reinforcing me. She backs me up rather then undermining me.

We're partners on the same mission. We have each other's back. Every time. It's just the way we roll.

*cue spy music*



Point 6

A godly woman whom I would want to spend my life with is honoring to the men in her life.

Because, after all, I'm going to be the man in her life.

And because, more importantly, it's Biblical.

"An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones." - Pr. 12:4

This point follows right along with the two previous. Are you, my sisters in Christ, treating your fathers and brothers in the Biblical ways discussed above? Are you supportive and submissive?

(and no, I'm not advocating wife-like submission to your father or brothers...)

How are you treating your father? Is Dad the buffoon that can't do anything right? Do you try to "straighten him out", but he's just too... silly? Do you roll your eyes at his jokes and act like Mom is the only one who ever gets anything done? Are you convinced that men are stupid (after all, that's what the movies say)? How about your brother- he's always on the computer. He never cleans his room. (I say this to my shame. But back to my point...) Or maybe he's younger and he never cleans his face. He is the subject of many an embarrassing story or sharp joke, and he is a real pain when he interrupts your talks with the girls. In fact, if he would just-

What does that say about you? Are you being the "crown" of your father? Your brothers? Or are you being rottenness in their bones?

Trust me, I notice.

But more importantly- "The eyes of The LORD are in every place."

Do you think God smiles on a girl who makes a fool of her father? Who derides men in general and her men in particular?

And how much more beautiful to see a girl who praises her father, who commends her brothers, who magnifies their skills and achievements while hiding their faults (another good commenter point-out- I'm not talking about deceitfully hiding faults or lying to make them look good.)?

Again, I'm not equating your relationship to your father or your brothers to your relationship with your husband.


But I am comparing them.

And it would be foolish for me to expect a woman who was rottenness in the bones of her father or brothers to suddenly become my crown.

Please remember that by building them up, I don't mean being silly. "He's so awesome he's just perfect he's amazing he's wonderful." That just makes you look foolish and embarrasses him.

You as a daughter or sister have the power to bless and honor and inspire and crown the men in your life- or to shame them and cut them in half.

Right now I'm talking about family relationships. This applies to a different degree to your brothers in Christ, but that's not my focus here. It also applies most strongly to the relationship between a husband and wife- but then, that's what we're really talking about, isn't it?

I say this very sincerely- the power of a woman is great.

Please use it wisely.


Point 7

A godly woman whom I would want to spend my life with is interested in theology and philosophy. Like, really interested. Like, I can discuss eschatology and utilitarianism with her. And she loves it.

This connects with point 2, but is a bit different. I want a wife who is my soul-mate- who shares my deepest thoughts and ponderings. She's not a theological cream-puff. If I'm away and a Jehovah's Witness comes to the door, she not only knows how to wield our Glock (just in case) but she knows how to wield The Sword.


And I can wrestle through hefty theology and always have a loving, compassionate, concerned sounding-board to turn to from which to receive Biblically-grounded feedback.

She's my soul-mate. A huge part of my soul- indeed, by God's Grace, the consuming desire of my soul- is God! I want her to be able to share in my passion for Him.

I want her to love it as I do my best to wash her in the water of The Word. And I want her to sharpen me too.

Thanks, commenters, for pointing out the important distinction that needs to be made here: all Christians are called to "study to show thyself approved." Not all Christians are called to be thrilled by dissecting postmillennialism.  If discussing how to save money gets you more excited than discussing the differences between a four and a five-point Calvinist, that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Point 8

A godly woman with whom I would want to spend my life with loves kids and knows how to handle/raise/teach them.


That little chocolate-bearded, runny-nosed brother. A nuisance? Wish you could just stick him outside and get back to your Austen novel? (OK, that was just mean.)

Or when you look into the teary eyes of the dirty little kid who scraped her knee, do you see the soul of one more citizen for The Kingdom of Heaven? Do you see a legacy of thousands and tens of thousands of human souls coming from this one child who will be affected by the way you respond, right now, to this needy little person?

Are you too soft to wield the rod? Are you too hard to cry with them when the puppy dies?

Can you raise them in the nurture and admonition of The LORD- from having enough of a spine to rule the house instead of being ruled by the house to having enough of a heart to let them tell you the rambling and apparently endless story about the bug they chased around the backyard, not because you care at all about the dragonfly but because you care about them?

Are you patient enough to teach math and energetic enough to carry the baby on the family hike? (Which only assumes that I'm carrying the heavier backpack, or I'd be glad to carry him for you. :-)

Do you love- LOVE kids? Do you see them for the treasure that they are- a soul waiting to be shaped? A treasure that will be stolen by the world if not seized by The Kingdom!

Do you look at a kid pulling off a first-class "puppy dog face" and say "how could I say no to that?" Or do you look at him and say with a smile "I love you too much to say yes."

Can you change a diaper and a worldview at the same time?



Check back next Monday for the third and final installment in this thrilling series. :-D

EDIT- CLICK FOR PART 3

Music: Without End (An Epic Christmas Arrangement)

Here's a suite of Christmas carols woven together into an epic-film-music-style whole. This is my Christmas gift to y'all, on the same terms as my last one. Just send me an e-mail at gabriel AT resoundingmusic.com and I'll send you an mp3 of this piece. I probably won't get to sending 'em out until after the weekend, though- need to be with the family. If you feel led to share this, it's greatly appreciated. :-)

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and peace
there shall be no end..."

Without End by gabrielhudelson

Merry CHRISTmas!

Thoughts on Biblical Femininity - Pt. 1

I've written about Biblical manliness more than once before. But today I'd like to talk to my sisters in Christ.

I was reading the blog of the Botkin sisters (an excellent blog which I would highly recommend- these young ladies are an excellent source of wisdom and by turns convict, encourage, and inspire me), and I came across this quote:

“What takes a girl from someone a man likes to be around, to someone
he wants to spend his life with? I see a lot of lists by girls about
‘my husband must be such and such.’ But it seems all I ever hear from
guys is ‘a godly lady.’ What does that mean to them?”

Well, here goes.

:-)

I started this planning to post it all at once. It's kinda (way) too long to do thus, though, so instead I'm going to shoot for publishing a part of the whole list once a week- probably every Monday.

A godly woman whom I would want to spend my life with...

1. Is about her Father's business and her father's business. And she isn't waiting for me. I will explain.
2. Is very intelligent- and not just in a sharp, high-IQ, witty way, but especially in a studious and wise way.
3. Is prepared to learn, to change, to repent, to forgive, and to submit to my leadership.
4. Is striving to be like Christ. Not because it makes guys like me pay attention, but because it's right.

Point 1

A godly woman whom I would want to spend my life with is about her Father's business and her father's business. And she isn't waiting for me.

If homeschooling, family-integrated, skirt-wearing Christian girls had to be summed up in a book, it would be..?

Pride & Prejudice. Of course.


I know, it's normal for guys to not like Austen novels, the Twilight series, and so on. But usually the perspective is that it is normal for girls to like these things- indeed, that it is good for them to do so. I disagree, but it is not the purpose of this post to discuss the merits and problems of romance novels and "chick flicks" in-depth. There is one salient thing about them, though, which applies strongly to my point.

(For said in-depth discussion, I'd highly recommend the talk Jane Austen & Vampires by the Botkin sisters. Yes, them again.)

Books and films like Pride & Prejudice model, for girls, a life spent at tea and dancing, at pointless nothings, waiting for prince charming to come.

I'm saddened when I see "good girls" who are proud of their infatuation with everything Austen. When I see girls wrapped up in the fake, the shallow, the transient, the make-believe. In the hope of marriage. In the "what I want my husband to be".

Oh my sisters, please be wrapped up in what your Husband Christ wants you to be right now.

Your life doesn't begin- or end- with marriage. Marriage is neither the commencement of your real duties as a woman, nor is it the conclusion of your life story after which comes only the epilogue.

Instead of waiting for the arrival of your spouse, be about your heavenly Father's business, sculpting yourself to please your eternal Husband, Christ.

And what does that look like for you here and now? I don't know exactly. But it ain't sippin' tea and watching the horizon for a silhouetted steed bearing a knight in shining armor.

What are you doing right now that is advancing the Kingdom of God on this earth?

I don't doubt that often the answer is "I'm preparing to be a wife and mother- learning to keep the house and raise the kids".

Amen and amen. That is hugely important. But it's not all. There's So Much More. You as a daughter in your father's home can be a warrioress or a china doll. There is a world to be conquered, and you can be helping your father (or your brothers) do that right now.

It can be disheartening seeing examples like the one I just linked to. You may be thinking "but I don't have globetrotting brothers of awesomeness. My dad just delivers mail. My brother is more interested in conquering the World of Warcraft than the world which wars against the God who crafted it."

Grow where you are planted. Talk to your dad! Ask him how you can help him! Study theology. Yes, that may mean reading a book written 200 years ago which weighs more than your little brother. Study music or graphic design or auto mechanics or filmmaking or electricity. Apply yourself to practical, profitable, real-world pursuits. Being a daughter Joyfully At Home affords you myriads of practical Kingdom-building opportunities. Cultivate the mind and body and talents that God has given you. I don't know the answer for your specific situation. I do know Who does. Seek His Face, not the face of prince charming.

Your time in the household of your father is precious. Please don't waste it. Also please note that I'm not advocating by "real-world pursuits" that you "get a job." I firmly believe in the power of stay-at-home wives and daughters to advance The Kingdom in practical ways. May God give you wisdom as you seek to find those ways! Maybe it's selling crafts, or writing books, or teaching piano (each of which, actually, are examples from people I know). Whatever it is, though, it's not twiddling your thumbs until Mr. Darcy shows up.

So, to sum up, be content where God has put you. (Phil. 4:11)

Use your single years wisely, being a good steward of the time He has given you. (Eph. 5:16)

And be ready for marriage, not waiting for marriage. (Matt. 6:33)

A question which might give good perspective: "If God doesn't have it in His Marvelous Plan for me to get married (it is possible!) then what can I be doing to expand His Kingdom right now so that I don't find myself, at the end of my life, an old maid, filled with regret, waiting to die alone?"


Point 2

A godly woman whom I would want to spend my life with is very intelligent- and not just in a sharp, high-IQ, witty way, but especially in a studious and wise way.

She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
(Pr. 31:26)

I don't want to marry a girl who has spent her life just doing dishes and changing diapers. Those tasks that I just mentioned are very important and very Kingdom-building, but that's not all that Kingdom womanhood is about. I want a girl who can look at a dirty diaper or a stack of dishes or a little boy with a bloody knee and a messy face and see the Kingdom of God being advanced. But I also want a girl who has wisely invested her youth and who has a wealth of knowledge to pass on to our kids- and to me!

To make it practical, I'd like her to have:

1. A firm knowledge of Scripture and be able to apply It to many situations.
2. A good arsenal of knowledge, wisdom, stories from her past and her parents' past and her grandparents' past, proverbs and quotes from wise men and women, ready to pull out and apply at will.
3. Practical knowledge of real-world stuff ranging from auto-mechanics to storytelling.
4. A firm grasp of the basic things that our children will need to know so that she can teach them well- basic math, basic music (especially for my kids! :-), basic literature- a second language is a plus- etc.

I'm being practical, here, and the danger with that is that it's easy to be legalistic, or at least to be accused of such. But my sister says that practical is helpful, so there it is. And these practical things, though they will vary in degree and application between you, my sisters in Christ, are still founded on Biblical principles- like the value of meditating on God's Word (Ps. 1), the importance of wisdom and knowledge (Pr. 9), the beauty of a legacy, the importance of remembering the journeys of our fathers (Deuteronomy, Proverbs), the worth of a woman who is "making her arms strong" (Pr. 31), and so on.

Being a keeper at home doesn't at all mean mean being fat and dumb, washing dishes, wiping noses, and sitting around snacking in front of the TV with an occasional shout at a kid or two.

Point 3

A godly woman whom I would want to spend my life with is prepared to learn, to change, to repent, to forgive, and to submit to my leadership.

We're human. We're imperfect. Even the woman who God has stored in His Perfect plan for me- the perfect girl for me- isn't perfect. And I, the perfect man for her- I'm not perfect either.

So we both need to be able to repent and to forgive.

God has called me to be the leader in the home that I hope to start one day. A godly woman will recognize and desire this. I won't be a perfect leader, and she won't expect me to be. She will, however, expect, exhort, and inspire me to be a great leader.

Quick note to my brothers reading this- it hit me one night recently that as a husband and father I will have a daughter of The King submitting herself to- obeying- me. That's a huge responsibility. Guys, if you take this lightly, don't come courting my sisters.

I'll slug you.



Now returning my address to my sisters: As a wife, you need to be ready to change and grow with your man as The LORD leads. This might make you uncomfortable sometimes, but we as Kingdom households are not on a gondola ride- we're on an epic, Kingdom voyage. Seasickness comes with the territory, but you need to be ready to take it like a sailor.

This also may mean differences of opinion with your parents/siblings/etc. LORD willing, throughout the pre-marriage process any disagreements will be discovered. If they're important enough, then the train wreck will be stopped before it started. If they're minor, then hopefully the marriage process will have the blessing of both families, knowing that the foundations are solid, and the disagreements can be overlooked.

But you must remember that as your husband this man is now your man, your head, your leader. You have to be prepared to follow him to the ends of the earth.

Example: if your husband becomes a credo-baptist when you were Presbyterians, then you need to submit to his leadership even if you're not sure he's right. And you need to support him in front of the kids. Or maybe he wants you to wear head-coverings, while your father didn't believe that that was the proper interpretation of Scripture.

"Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord." - Eph. 5:22

Submit to him as you would submit to Christ. You must be prepared to do this.

(By the way, if he tells you to rob a bank or help him knock off an old rival- please don't. Obedience to him is subject to The Word of God. But when it's a grey area, he is your leader. And if you accept your place at his side wholeheartedly- what amazing peace and security. God's design is unbeatable.)

Point 4

A godly woman whom I would want to spend my life with is striving to be like Christ. Not because it makes guys like me pay attention, but because it's right.

I'll close with this one for now. It's something which my sister has discussed with me previously. It's kinda tough to communicate this, seeing as how you are reading a list of things that a guy is looking for in girls, but it's crucial.

If you're trying to be Christ-like because straight-laced, homeschooled, Christian guys like me look for Christ-like girls, you are missing the whole point.

Your obedience to Christ must be motivated out of fear of and love for God. If it's motivated out of fear of and lust for man- repent! Pray that God will change your heart. (1 John 1:9)

But don't be satisfied with being a good girl who checks the boxes and looks good. Oh LORD I pray that You would make such a girl transparent before I or any brother of mine commits his life to her! If your passion for Christ only runs as deep as your passion for this guy you like, then what happens when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and you're just not very passionate about the guy today?


More importantly- if what you do for Christ isn't done out of faith- if what you do for Christ is really just done for man- it's sin! (Rom 14:23)

Anyone who seeks godliness apart from God is doomed to failure. Every time.

Any woman who seeks godliness to impress the guys is no godly woman at all.

If you think your husband will make you happy, will bring you joy, will give you fulfillment- you're wrong. Even the best man can't do that. Instead of him bringing you joy, you will bring him misery. If you make him your idol, he will always fail to measure up to the deity you want him to be.

But if you both are seeking first The Kingdom, what harmony and unity and love will result! The more you love Christ, the more you will love each other. A man with his whole heart given to Christ will love you far more than a man with his whole heart given to you. And a man with his whole heart given to Christ knows that it works both ways.

This takes us back to point 1. If you are waiting for Prince Charming instead of serving the King of Kings, then you aren't ready for Prince Charming in the first place.

Because a real man is looking for a woman who has already given her heart away.

To Christ.



Bearing this in mind, I hope that this list has encouraged both my sisters and my brothers, not in manliness or womanliness, but in Godliness.

Stop by next week for part 2. :-)

EDIT - CLICK HERE FOR PART 2

CLICK HERE FOR PART 3

Sin or Statistics?

This young man's boldness convicts me, his faith inspires me, his message encourages me. But the fact that the church in this nation which will gnash their teeth at this message which comes straight from The Word of God saddens me. Oh for repentance! Oh for reformation!

Please watch this. Give ear to The Word of God thus spoken so boldly. Wrestle with The Truth- submit to It- and pass it on. Our nation needs to hear this. Homosexuality isn't wrong because of statistics. It's wrong because God says so.

True relevance comes when the Church submits to God and obeys His Word- not when she tries to hide it under a bushel.

What this young man says isn't popular. It doesn't submit to the gods of the marketplace. But it's true. And it needs to be said. May we not be found lacking the boldness to say it.

Music: Brotherhood Montage

Something I wrote for a film that I'm working on, set in the Civil War era.

Oh, and there's a hymn in there somewhere, if anybody wants to try to find it... :-)

Brotherhood Montage - "Sons of Georgia" by gabrielhudelson

Music: Private, I

This piece was written for a comedy featuring two young detective wannabes. Not a genre I usually post, but definitely quite fun. Enjoy!

Private, I by gabrielhudelson

Happy Thanksgiving! / Shameless Commercial Time

Yes, this is a day late- I was writing it on Thanksgiving Day and then I stopped to go be with the family. :-D

We have much to be thankful for, do we not? What are some of the things that you are thankful for? I'm thankful for... hmm...

(not necessarily in order)

1. Godly parents
2. The Word of God
3. The Election of God
4. The Love and Grace of God
5. The Sovereignty of God
6. Great siblings
7. A Thanksgiving Day feast
8. My grandparents
9. An excellent computer with professional software
10. Music
11. God's provision
12. Our next house (we're planning on moving at the beginning of next year)
13. The Law and Justice of God
14. The people that support my entrepreneurial endeavors

...and many more things.

But as a gift of appreciation to those in category 14, if you are a Facebook user you can get a free mp3 of my music.

If you aren't a Facebook user... well, you follow my blog, so I might just send you one anyway.

;-)

Just comment below with the title of the piece you'd like and then send me an e-mail at gabriel@resoundingmusic.com.

To all of my readers, if The LORD leads you to pass on my music, I would greatly appreciate it. Whether you share my blog, tweet a link to my website, embed a video from my YouTube channel in a blog post, "like" my Facebook page (as linked above), or follow my Twitter account, this young entrepreneur will be very grateful.

Back to my Thanksgiving gift to y'all, here are the pieces to choose from:

Resounding Music - Gabriel Hudelson by gabrielhudelson