Monday, December 19, 2011

Thoughts on Biblical Femininity - Pt. 1


I've written about Biblical manliness more than once before. But today I'd like to talk to my sisters in Christ.

I was reading the blog of the Botkin sisters (an excellent blog which I would highly recommend- these young ladies are an excellent source of wisdom and by turns convict, encourage, and inspire me), and I came across this quote:

“What takes a girl from someone a man likes to be around, to someone
he wants to spend his life with? I see a lot of lists by girls about
‘my husband must be such and such.’ But it seems all I ever hear from
guys is ‘a godly lady.’ What does that mean to them?”


Well, here goes.

:-)

I started this planning to post it all at once. It's kinda (way) too long to do thus, though, so instead I'm going to shoot for publishing a part of the whole list once a week- probably every Monday.

A godly woman whom I would want to spend my life with...

  1. Is about her Father's business and her father's business. And she isn't waiting for me. I will explain.
  2. Is very intelligent- and not just in a sharp, high-IQ, witty way, but especially in a studious and wise way.
  3. Is prepared to learn, to change, to repent, to forgive, and to submit to my leadership.
  4. Is striving to be like Christ. Not because it makes guys like me pay attention, but because it's right.

Point 1

A godly woman whom I would want to spend my life with is about her Father's business and her father's business. And she isn't waiting for me.

If homeschooling, family-integrated, skirt-wearing Christian girls had to be summed up in a book, it would be..?

Pride & Prejudice. Of course.


I know, it's normal for guys to not like Austen novels, the Twilight series, and so on. But usually the perspective is that it is normal for girls to like these things- indeed, that it is good for them to do so. I disagree, but it is not the purpose of this post to discuss the merits and problems of romance novels and "chick flicks" in-depth. There is one salient thing about them, though, which applies strongly to my point.

(For said in-depth discussion, I'd highly recommend the talk Jane Austen & Vampires by the Botkin sisters. Yes, them again.)

Books and films like Pride & Prejudice model, for girls, a life spent at tea and dancing, at pointless nothings, waiting for prince charming to come.

I'm saddened when I see "good girls" who are proud of their infatuation with everything Austen. When I see girls wrapped up in the fake, the shallow, the transient, the make-believe. In the hope of marriage. In the "what I want my husband to be".

Oh my sisters, please be wrapped up in what your Husband Christ wants you to be right now.

Your life doesn't begin- or end- with marriage. Marriage is neither the commencement of your real duties as a woman, nor is it the conclusion of your life story after which comes only the epilogue.

Instead of waiting for the arrival of your spouse, be about your heavenly Father's business, sculpting yourself to please your eternal Husband, Christ.

And what does that look like for you here and now? I don't know exactly. But it ain't sippin' tea and watching the horizon for a silhouetted steed bearing a knight in shining armor.

What are you doing right now that is advancing the Kingdom of God on this earth?

I don't doubt that often the answer is "I'm preparing to be a wife and mother- learning to keep the house and raise the kids".

Amen and amen. That is hugely important. But it's not all. There's So Much More. You as a daughter in your father's home can be a warrioress or a china doll. There is a world to be conquered, and you can be helping your father (or your brothers) do that right now.

It can be disheartening seeing examples like the one I just linked to. You may be thinking "but I don't have globetrotting brothers of awesomeness. My dad just delivers mail. My brother is more interested in conquering the World of Warcraft than the world which wars against the God who crafted it."

Grow where you are planted. Talk to your dad! Ask him how you can help him! Study theology. Yes, that may mean reading a book written 200 years ago which weighs more than your little brother. Study music or graphic design or auto mechanics or filmmaking or electricity. Apply yourself to practical, profitable, real-world pursuits. Being a daughter Joyfully At Home affords you myriads of practical Kingdom-building opportunities. Cultivate the mind and body and talents that God has given you. I don't know the answer for your specific situation. I do know Who does. Seek His Face, not the face of prince charming.

Your time in the household of your father is precious. Please don't waste it. Also please note that I'm not advocating by "real-world pursuits" that you "get a job." I firmly believe in the power of stay-at-home wives and daughters to advance The Kingdom in practical ways. May God give you wisdom as you seek to find those ways! Maybe it's selling crafts, or writing books, or teaching piano (each of which, actually, are examples from people I know). Whatever it is, though, it's not twiddling your thumbs until Mr. Darcy shows up.

So, to sum up, be content where God has put you. (Phil. 4:11)

Use your single years wisely, being a good steward of the time He has given you. (Eph. 5:16)

And be ready for marriage, not waiting for marriage. (Matt. 6:33)

A question which might give good perspective: "If God doesn't have it in His Marvelous Plan for me to get married (it is possible!) then what can I be doing to expand His Kingdom right now so that I don't find myself, at the end of my life, an old maid, filled with regret, waiting to die alone?"


Point 2


A godly woman whom I would want to spend my life with is very intelligent- and not just in a sharp, high-IQ, witty way, but especially in a studious and wise way.

She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
(Pr. 31:26)

I don't want to marry a girl who has spent her life just doing dishes and changing diapers. Those tasks that I just mentioned are very important and very Kingdom-building, but that's not all that Kingdom womanhood is about. I want a girl who can look at a dirty diaper or a stack of dishes or a little boy with a bloody knee and a messy face and see the Kingdom of God being advanced. But I also want a girl who has wisely invested her youth and who has a wealth of knowledge to pass on to our kids- and to me!

To make it practical, I'd like her to have:
  1. A firm knowledge of Scripture and be able to apply It to many situations.
  2. A good arsenal of knowledge, wisdom, stories from her past and her parents' past and her grandparents' past, proverbs and quotes from wise men and women, ready to pull out and apply at will.
  3. Practical knowledge of real-world stuff ranging from auto-mechanics to storytelling.
  4. A firm grasp of the basic things that our children will need to know so that she can teach them well- basic math, basic music (especially for my kids! :-), basic literature- a second language is a plus- etc.
I'm being practical, here, and the danger with that is that it's easy to be legalistic, or at least to be accused of such. But my sister says that practical is helpful, so there it is. And these practical things, though they will vary in degree and application between you, my sisters in Christ, are still founded on Biblical principles- like the value of meditating on God's Word (Ps. 1), the importance of wisdom and knowledge (Pr. 9), the beauty of a legacy, the importance of remembering the journeys of our fathers (Deuteronomy, Proverbs), the worth of a woman who is "making her arms strong" (Pr. 31), and so on.

Being a keeper at home doesn't at all mean mean being fat and dumb, washing dishes, wiping noses, and sitting around snacking in front of the TV with an occasional shout at a kid or two.

Point 3

A godly woman whom I would want to spend my life with is prepared to learn, to change, to repent, to forgive, and to submit to my leadership.

We're human. We're imperfect. Even the woman who God has stored in His Perfect plan for me- the perfect girl for me- isn't perfect. And I, the perfect man for her- I'm not perfect either.

So we both need to be able to repent and to forgive.

God has called me to be the leader in the home that I hope to start one day. A godly woman will recognize and desire this. I won't be a perfect leader, and she won't expect me to be. She will, however, expect, exhort, and inspire me to be a great leader.

Quick note to my brothers reading this- it hit me one night recently that as a husband and father I will have a daughter of The King submitting herself to- obeying- me. That's a huge responsibility. Guys, if you take this lightly, don't come courting my sisters.

I'll slug you.



Now returning my address to my sisters: As a wife, you need to be ready to change and grow with your man as The LORD leads. This might make you uncomfortable sometimes, but we as Kingdom households are not on a gondola ride- we're on an epic, Kingdom voyage. Seasickness comes with the territory, but you need to be ready to take it like a sailor.

This also may mean differences of opinion with your parents/siblings/etc. LORD willing, throughout the pre-marriage process any disagreements will be discovered. If they're important enough, then the train wreck will be stopped before it started. If they're minor, then hopefully the marriage process will have the blessing of both families, knowing that the foundations are solid, and the disagreements can be overlooked.

But you must remember that as your husband this man is now your man, your head, your leader. You have to be prepared to follow him to the ends of the earth.

Example: if your husband becomes a credo-baptist when you were Presbyterians, then you need to submit to his leadership even if you're not sure he's right. And you need to support him in front of the kids. Or maybe he wants you to wear head-coverings, while your father didn't believe that that was the proper interpretation of Scripture.

"Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord." - Eph. 5:22

Submit to him as you would submit to Christ. You must be prepared to do this.

(By the way, if he tells you to rob a bank or help him knock off an old rival- please don't. Obedience to him is subject to The Word of God. But when it's a grey area, he is your leader. And if you accept your place at his side wholeheartedly- what amazing peace and security. God's design is unbeatable.)

Point 4

A godly woman whom I would want to spend my life with is striving to be like Christ. Not because it makes guys like me pay attention, but because it's right.

I'll close with this one for now. It's something which my sister has discussed with me previously. It's kinda tough to communicate this, seeing as how you are reading a list of things that a guy is looking for in girls, but it's crucial.

If you're trying to be Christ-like because straight-laced, homeschooled, Christian guys like me look for Christ-like girls, you are missing the whole point.

Your obedience to Christ must be motivated out of fear of and love for God. If it's motivated out of fear of and lust for man- repent! Pray that God will change your heart. (1 John 1:9)

But don't be satisfied with being a good girl who checks the boxes and looks good. Oh LORD I pray that You would make such a girl transparent before I or any brother of mine commits his life to her! If your passion for Christ only runs as deep as your passion for this guy you like, then what happens when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and you're just not very passionate about the guy today?


More importantly- if what you do for Christ isn't done out of faith- if what you do for Christ is really just done for man- it's sin! (Rom 14:23)

Anyone who seeks godliness apart from God is doomed to failure. Every time.

Any woman who seeks godliness to impress the guys is no godly woman at all.

If you think your husband will make you happy, will bring you joy, will give you fulfillment- you're wrong. Even the best man can't do that. Instead of him bringing you joy, you will bring him misery. If you make him your idol, he will always fail to measure up to the deity you want him to be.

But if you both are seeking first The Kingdom, what harmony and unity and love will result! The more you love Christ, the more you will love each other. A man with his whole heart given to Christ will love you far more than a man with his whole heart given to you. And a man with his whole heart given to Christ knows that it works both ways.

This takes us back to point 1. If you are waiting for Prince Charming instead of serving the King of Kings, then you aren't ready for Prince Charming in the first place.

Because a real man is looking for a woman who has already given her heart away.

To Christ.



Bearing this in mind, I hope that this list has encouraged both my sisters and my brothers, not in manliness or womanliness, but in Godliness.

Stop by next week for part 2. :-)

EDIT - CLICK HERE FOR PART 2

CLICK HERE FOR PART 3

50 comments:

Nashae Hudelson said...

"An old maid, filled with regret, waiting to die alone?" Didn't expect that. Very convicting, spoken with love, and filled with wisdom. Good job.

Jocelyn K. said...

This is one of the best posts I have read in a long time regarding this topic! All single young ladies (and young men!) should read this article for the Biblical principles and practical insights you have shared. God bless you, Gabe! It is a great blessing to have you in our son's life for the Godly example you have been to him over the years. Thank you!

~ Mrs. Klotz

Gabriel Hudelson said...

Awwww... well thanks to both of you. :-)

Corey P. said...

Excellent thoughts, brother. Well said, indeed. :D

On the other hand, I'm not sure I agree with your assessment of Austen and her writing. Saying that she advocates "a life spent at tea and dancing, at pointless nothings, waiting for prince charming to come" doesn't seem (to me) to be a very fair evaluation of her work.

I've only read Pride & Prejudice (as part of my lit class), but from what I could tell, those frivolities you mentioned are the very things Austen was criticizing.

No, Austen's heroines should not be taken as complete models of Christian womanhood. No, there shouldn't be an unhealthy "obessession" with her work.

However, I don't see that reading Austen is necessarily a detrimental thing, especially considering the multitude of thought-provoking material her writing contains.

Racheal said...

Amen, brother! I really appriciate how you say your say without pulling punches. We could use more like you.

(So, it's a good thing I like building fences, eh? Glad to hear it.:) )

Luke Myers said...

"I'll slug you" Love it. LOL! Knowing what qualities you're after is so important. You go bro!

Luke Myers said...

Hate to be contrary here, but must agree with Corey. Can reading Austen benefit where it shocks me into facing/correcting some of my faults, detrimental where it feeds distracting daydreams? Perhaps her plots are silly and forgettable, but she portrays human faults with frightening accuracy.

Corey P. said...

Pastor/Author Peter Leithart wrote a book on Austen entitled Miniatures and Morals: the Christian novels of Jane Austen. I haven't read it yet, but I plan to, as it looks like an a very insightful examination of this subject. You might want to check it out. :D

Bush Maid said...

Wow, Gabriel. This was an absolutely brilliant post: challenging, encouraging and inspiring all in the one breath. I agree 100% on every point. Thankyou so much for taking the time to share this.

(as to Austen, I agree. Life in those times mainly consisted of simply waiting for Prince Charming to arrive. Though her works do have a lot of good values that I have learned from, I don't believe being overly obsessed with them and/or modelling one's life after her characters is at all healthy. [which also applies to anything other than Christ, as a matter of fact].)

Gabriel Hudelson said...

Thanks, all, for the kind comments.

Corey and Luke, in response to your (good!) objections about Austen, I like what Aussie said above.

"Though her works do have a lot of good values that I have learned from, I don't believe being overly obsessed with them and/or modelling one's life after her characters is at all healthy."

Corey P. said...

"I don't believe being overly obsessed with them and/or modelling one's life after her characters is at all healthy."

I wasn't arguing otherwise. I totally agree with you in that regard. However, it sounded to me like you were denegrating Austen entirely.

God's Word alone should be that which we model our lives after. But then, I don't know any young women (in my immediate circle of friends) who would disagree with that.

Saying we shouldn't be obssessed with Austen or her characters is totally correct; but that doesn't mean her works should be summarily dismissed. She has a lot of good stuff to say.

Kayla said...

I liked it, Gabe! I liked the part at the end the best, about not man/womanliness but godliness! Also I really appreciate your point that 'life doesn't begin or end with marriage.'
And I enjoyed the reminder to do what's right for God, not for peers or other people.

It must be so nice for your sisters to know they have a brother ready to get his fists bloody to protect them. That's kinda how I would feel if a slut tried to distract Nathan..."Okay, missy, stick em' up!"

-Kayla :D

Gabriel Hudelson said...

Corey, true that. It's not like anyone will argue otherwise. But I do think that many girls *practice* otherwise.

I have no intention to denigrate Austen entirely. Just mostly.

:-D

I don't mean to summarily dismiss her works, but to say that I think they are given far too high of a place in the homeschooling, family-integrated circles I swim in.

Kayla- thanks for reading, and for the comment. Glad you enjoyed it.

And about Nathan- I'm glad. :-D

Anonymous said...

Very good post...It's good to know that there are like minded people out there!
We need to pray more for the young men and women of our generation since so many of them are lost from truth...even if they are "in the church".
It is also refreshing to hear a young man not express the idea that he is going to "teach" his future wife everything, as if she comes to him as an empty page...empty young women is exactly what you are exorting against!
Thanks!
~~KT

Aubrey Hansen said...

I'm sending you more comprehensive thoughts elsewhere, but I wanted to post here for public record - wonderful article. Both from a content standpoint and a craft standpoint. It was well-presented with just enough humor tossed in. Keep writing stuff like this as God leads! :)

Corey P. said...

Gabriel, I know what you're getting at; but in that case, I would contend that the fault lies, not with Austen, but with the hearts of the readers. And the best way to address that is to go to God's Word. Avoiding Austen isn't going to help much - the girl in question still has a heart issue.

The same goes for any book, really; idolization and unhealthy obsession aren't limited to Austen and the homeschool movement. It could just as easily happen with the Elsie Dinsmore series, or with C.S. Lewis, or with Charles Dickens.

Anyway, thanks for the discussion. :)

(BTW, I noticed one of your favorite books is A Tale of Two Cities; I just finished that this week and was blown away by how good it was, especially the finale)

Savannah said...

Hi Gabriel!

First, I love your header picture--lots of symbolism as well as a pretty piece of work....

Anyways, I agree with you that the girls in homeschooling circles (the ones I've traveled in, too...)are often far too infatuated with their perception of the Jane Austen era than seems healthy. It appears that they often view it as a time when life was beautiful--and perhaps easier?? In reality, that was a very difficult and unlovely period of history. Personally, I like Jane Austen novels, partly because of the powerful descriptions, partly because of her ability to show foolishness and its results without moralizing over it in a Victorian manner, and partly because it is a window into another time. And, like every time, her generation was as fraught with sin and ungodliness as ours--even if it was under cloaks of what sometimes seems ostentatious manners.

"Seasickness comes with the territory, but you need to be ready to take it like a sailor." I love this quote! (Though it is harder to do than to say.) I fear that the "Jane Austen Syndrome" aka "Beautiful Girlhood Movement" does not prepare young girls for standing up under seasickness like sailors.

Final thought: stopping the train wreck before it gets started--what a great way to describe ending a courtship "prematurely" (so to speak). This is the correct way to think of it, though there are certainly temptations to think otherwise once you actually go through that.

Thanks Gabriel! Keep up the good work!

In Christ,
Racheal's big sister

P.S. I must confess that auto mechanics has never really interested me...I would rather sew or burn brush piles :-)

David R. said...

Amen on the part about slugging boys who don't understand their massive responsibility in leading a wife and kids. I'll hold 'em for ya and give 'em my two bits when you're done.
The severity of that topic hit me several months back. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE BEFORE GOD FOR LEADING YOUR WIFE AND KIDS, AND YOU WILL ANSWER TO HOW YOU LED THEM.
Men, if that don't send chills down your spine, you ain't nowhere near ready to get married, or even understanding marriage. Its a massive responsibility that no man can take lightly.
Excellent analyses on girls aiming to serve God, not just waiting around for a good Godly boy who likes her.
Keep it coming.

Gabriel Hudelson said...

You are welcome, Corey- thank you! Savannah, thanks for visiting, and for the very good thoughts. :-)

Gabriel Hudelson said...

Oh, and David- yep. :-D

Grace Pennington said...

Thank you for this, Gabriel. :) Some very good thoughts. I appreciate hearing this from a young man, as it's not something most men write about.

I find it amusing that out of all the things in this post, Jane Austen was the one that came up for debate. :D As one of the rare girls who doesn't care much for Austen, I have little to say on that score. Except I agree that it's over revered at times.

I'm looking forward to part two. :)

d&pm said...

Excellent work! Very well written and I'm looking forward to part II. It's such a pleasure to know you.

Mrs. Monter

Gabriel Hudelson said...

Grace- I know, right? :-D

Mrs. M- thanks for the comment. I love to hear from you. :-)

M. Renata Hudelson said...

Awesome post my dear!

I am so glad your willing to get bloody on my account, that makes me feel so preciously treasured.

*Kayla, I am with you! Any girl who messes with my brothers won't know what hit her! :)

love,

M. Renata Hudelson

Jessie said...

Really good post! Wow, thanks!

One of the older women at our church has started a little prayer group for the younger generation, and it has (at least) doubled every Sunday!! It has been such a blessing.

It is really hard for us (especially me) to act lady-like with the amount of dirty hard work that we have to do here. I'm slowly realizing that you can still do that and be a godly young lady....not a wild tom-boy :)

Gabriel Hudelson said...

"I'm slowly realizing that you can still do that and be a godly young lady....not a wild tom-boy :)"

That's huge, Jessie. :-)

Bailey said...

I'm so used to video game saturated guys that I'm shocked you exist.

You get it.

I believe in more Christian freedom than stay-at-home daughterhood allows, but your thoughtfulness, your heart and your courage leave me nodding my head.

Keep on writing. We need men like you.

Rachel said...

This is a very well-written post. I'm very blessed to have read it. I love Bailey's comment... it IS very refreshing to know there are young men out there who "get it".

I find it interesting that the issue of Jane Austen's books has caused such a stir... :) I have read a couple of her works years ago and have watched some of the movies... there are definitely better books and movies out there, though I don't condemn Austen's work entirely. She IS writing in a time and culture when marriage was the KEY goal of the woman's life, but (most of) her heroines do show good sense and aren't "silly girls". I've never been obsessed with Austen, thankfully, so this isn't a difficult issue for me. :)

When I read your 3rd point, that you seek a young woman who would be "prepared to learn, to change, to repent, to forgive, and to submit to my leadership", I felt a twinge of worry. There is much out there nowadays in more "conservative" circles that seems to take the role of "husband and leader" to the extreme of "master and commander". I was very impressed by how you explained this third point... your humility, realizing your huge responsibility of being a Godly leader for your wife to follow. A wise woman WILL desire to submit to a honorable, God-fearing husband. It takes much humility for both the man and the woman to make this amazing system work. If both parties in the marriage are submitted to God and more concerned about the other individual than they are themselves, the marriage will be such a beautiful picture of Christ's love (which is what our ultimate goal is).

So many young women get caught up in being the "perfect mate" (or just the perfect young woman) instead of just following God and becoming more and more like our Savior. It's so important for Jesus to hold your heart (whether you're and young woman OR a young man) before a romantic interest being EVER enters it. I had to learn this (over and over, it seems), as God has grown me and shown me more of what it means to follow Him. Thank you for encouraging both men and women toward Godliness, not whatever "circle" they're in would call "manhood" or "womanhood". Even though there are great sources out there to encourage young (and old) people in Biblical femininity and masculinity, the only perfect model is Christ Jesus.

Sorry for being so long-winded... :) God bless!

Rachel

Gabriel Hudelson said...

Bailey- thanks for stopping by, and for your kind words. Glad you enjoyed the post. As to stay-at-home daughterhood, I'd be interested to hear your take on this issue. Perhaps you can point me to a blog post..?

Rachel- no apology necessary! Thanks for taking the time to write such a comment, and for your encouragement. :-)

Bailey said...

I don't want to derail your comment thread with controversy, so feel free to comment on my blog or email me if you'd like to discuss it further. I wrote two blog posts regarding this topic, though I have much more to say:

http://bighouseinthelittlewoodsblog.blogspot.com/2011/09/whats-girl-to-do.html
http://bighouseinthelittlewoodsblog.blogspot.com/2011/10/daddys-girl.html

It's not that I'm against stay-at-home daughterhood, per se. At it's core, it has some good points oft neglected in general Christian discourse. But you'll soon enough get the gist of my opinion by reading the posts, so I'll just keep quiet for now.

Gabriel Hudelson said...

Excellent. Thanks. :-)

Gabriel Hudelson said...

(For the links, I mean.)

Jennifer said...

I don't believe submission is about obeying your husband as though he were God, but about turning to him in everything the way you do the Lord. Husbands also need to remember that their job is to love and not to make sure that she follows.

Gabriel Hudelson said...

Hey Jennifer. :-)

"obeying your husband as though he were God"

...depends on how you mean that. 'Cuz we no that no man is God.

And yes, it's not the husband's job to force his wife to follow him. Not at all! Indeed, if one has to say "I'm the leader!" then he's probably not the leader at all.

Anonymous said...

Greetings in the Name of our Jesus,
I have just come across your blog today, and I was blessed in some ways by the sharing here.

But I've been praying too about sharing with you a little bit also... even though typically I don't get involved in religious debates.

Firstly I am a servant, by His Grace alone, praise His Righteous Name, to the King and God of my Life.
Jesus Christ.

He is my very existance, and I praise Him for His Life in me. Over the years, He has revealed His Life to me in such beautiful ways, that brother, I cannot help but share.

Because of this, I feel that I must speak, and share with you the tremendous impression that I got through this post, and your next, on this same topic... and the communcation you've carried between yourself and others, of such great and marvellous effort... on a human part. To "be" right... to do right. To exist as the "right" woman, or man... and to "do" whatever the word "godly" implies... so that this person may be suited for matrimony in the future.

Brother, I feel led to share with you, that no matter how a person tries... it'll never work.
I've tried. You've tried. Everyone has tried, to be right, and to do the right things...

By describing what you would desire in a godly woman, you expose the truth about your own heart... not really what a woman should be.

Because by summing it up in a "godly woman", should never be hard for anyone to comprehend.

As a man or woman, lives in the Spirit of the Living Savior, there will be no question what is Godly.
Because the Holy Spirit will constantly convict, and teach.

If a girl, or a boy, dishonors his parents (either one) it is equally dishonoring to the Savior.
And if a man "expects" to be "respected" he's not a leader.

Jesus never demanded respect from anyone... He didn't look for it. It came naturally *to those that love Him*... and He gave His Everything... to please His bride. This is never seen today.
It is a requirement for the Life in Christ, for the married, and single... for man or woman... and until this purpose is attained, a marriage, a relationship, even a friendship... of whatever type, will never be the true one our Jesus has planned.

In Christ all are equal, and it is only by this view, that humility... true humility... may be attained.

And brother... in Jesus, I ask you to seek Him in this. I sense that you've come to your viewpoint, through your upbringing... not experience...

I know, the first thing we all must seek, man or woman, child or adult, is Jesus Christ, and He Alone. And it is when we meet Him... face to face. That His Godliness, praise His Name will shine within our lives.

We must die. Nothing we do can make us good, or right, or pleasing. Nothing can make us "qualified" for marriage, or for friendships. No one will ever be truly "ready".

Please be blessed, and welcome the new year, in the Life of Jesus.

Rebekah said...

I am way behind on some of your posts!

A very good article, Gabriel! I found it thought provoking and encouraging. Thanks for posting it. :)


To the KING be all the glory!
Rebekah

Seeking to follow said...

"Guys, if you take this lightly, don't come courting my sisters.

I'll slug you."
Now that made me laugh. :D Your sisters are blessed.

"And be ready for marriage, not waiting for marriage."
This states it so well.

Gabriel Hudelson said...

Heehee, thanks for stopping by! Glad you enjoyed the post. :-)

Bria said...


So you think it all right for young ladies to know how to do mechanical/guy jobs so to speak? Because it's actually very fun and useful to know things like basic construction and mechanics.

Though it does make it a bit awkward as you try to explain you are not a feminist/tomboy and you know how to build a bookshelf because your dad taught you, not because you want to prove yourself better to the guys.

Gabriel Hudelson said...

Oh, absolutely, Bria. I don't think Biblical femininity precludes real-world, down-and-dirty pursuits!

Susanne Moore said...

Good post. Well and truthfully written. Going in a second here to read part two and even three... Also if you haven't already, a good book to read (and written for both guys and gals) is "Extreme Romance: A single's guide to building true love" by Jesse and Heidi Jost. http://www.purityandtruth.com/products-page/

Linnea Joy said...

Thank you! I couldn't agree more! This post is very challenging and encouraging for me as a sister!

Thomas Bailey said...

This is very well written and is certainly grounded in Scripture.

While you may be speaking for yourself, you're also speaking for a bunch of us like-minded guys out here... :)

Thanks so much for sharing!

Gabriel Hudelson said...

Thomas- thanks! Glad to have you in my corner. ;-)

Susanne- the Josties! I recognize the name "Jesse Jost". That's neat.

Susanne Moore said...

Hehe, yep, the Josties. Bought the book when they came for a concert in December (or November maybe?).

Patrizia said...

Hi there! I agree with all that you say & so refreshing hearing it from a young man! I am writing to ask if I may share thus on my blog? My blog is geared toward young ladies & my next post is about the Unmarried Movie :)

I'll get the link for you ....

Patrizia said...

Sorry, I was on my phone before & couldnt do it.......

http://papermachepatrizia.blogspot.com/

Its a new blog, but its heading off to a decent start. If you would allow me to use your post please let me know on my blog & wont publish your comment to me. Thank you so much for your time. Blessings, Patrizia

Fallon Michael said...

I just came across your post, Gabriel, and let me say *thank you thank you!* I completely, whole-heartedly, one-hundred percently agree with you.
And I so needed to hear this today.
I can't wait to dive into Pt. 2 & Pt. 3.
The Botkin sisters are indeed great Godly examples,and I'm happy to say that I caught the references to their books- as I have several of them that I'm reading, and applying to my thoughts and actions.

Again, thank you so much. I loved the way you worded everything, and the fact that you used scripture to back up everything you said.

God Bless you, Gabriel!

Gabriel Hudelson said...

Thank you, Fallon! Praise God. Glad you enjoyed it. :-)

Moriah Peters said...

Saving these posts :~)