Sparrows and Surprises

Psalm 127 and Matthew 6 encourage believers to have faith- a faith that removes worry and stress; the faith of a child who never wonders how his daddy is going to put food on the table come next mealtime, but rather lives under the happy assumption that his daddy has everything under control. 

The Lord gave me a few opportunities this week to practice such faith in a very practical way. Many of you have probably heard about my latest album project (if you haven't, here you go: http://resoundingmusic.com/the-womb-of-the-dawn/ ). It was scheduled to come out Friday; I'd been pumping that release date for a long time in the marketing of the project; had a bunch of people "going" to the event. Thursday night, I hit the sack planning to make a few polishing tweaks on a few tracks and get everything uploaded in short order.

Friday morning came and brought with it the White Screen of Death. Bad news for album release day. Lots of visual display issues for my computer; couldn't even log in on some attempts. There had been signs leading up to this before, but nothing this bad. By God's grace, a phone call with Apple tech support resulted in getting everything up and running properly quickly, and the computer performed well all day long; album submitted to CDBaby, marketing finished, I shut her down. Had even worse problems every time I tried to start up after that. God held it together (it's really inexplicable that it performed so well on Friday) for just as long as I needed it. Then, next day, I was supposed to mix a track for #BoundMovie (on one of those "The film festival is coming! The film festival is coming!" deadlines). I went to bed Friday night knowing that the next morning I had some serious tech support to do before I'd be able to do so; called Apple again, and we couldn't fix it in-house; I'd have to go in for repairs. And the nearest store that could do such a thing is about an hour away from my location. Drove in, they had the part we thought might be the issue, switched it out, it appears that it really was the issue, they sent me on my way, and by about 4:00 in the afternoon I was back up and running. (Oh, and before anybody makes Mac jokes, it was a graphics card that had been serving me faithfully since 2008. So there's that.)

Add to that that Joseph Santoyo had prepared the vocal tracks so well, and the thing was done with time to spare.

On roller-coaster events like that, I think we have two reactionary options:

1. "DAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! WHATAMIGONNADO?" *stress* *pull hair out* *more stress*

2. "Whoa. That was unexpected. I can't wait to see how God works this out. Looks like I need to..." 

God is faithful. We should be faith-full. #Hudelson2014 #GodProvides

Lessons, Providences, and Tomorrow

I guess I blinked.

I'm almost 20 now.

I have 6 little siblings... becoming progressively less little.

When the clock strikes 12 tonight, another year will have melted from the life ahead of me into the life behind me, trickling at the rate of 24 hours a day through an hourglass that will never be turned upside-down.

It wasn't long ago that I wrote about the runner's two greatest fears, as we began the race of 2013.

Tonight, we will all cross the finish line of that race, and the starting line of a new one.

We have the opportunity to, at once, remember, through the bittersweet lens of hindsight, the great and remarkable providences of God in our lives, and to set forth with the wide-eyed excitement of a faithful child on a new adventure.

Scripture repeatedly exhorts us to pass on landmarks to our children; to remember the great providences of God to the next generation (Deuteronomy 6).  Here, I'm going to chronicle a few of the signal providences God worked in my life throughout 2013.

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This year I began participating in obstacle races, building great memories with friends and my Dad along the way.  God also used one of my obstacle racing experiences to teach me about marriage.

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This year I had two life-threatening experiences.  God's mercies were made abundantly evident in each case; the lessons to be learned were equally evident.  You can read about the first one here.  The second happened just last week; returning from helping a family remove sheet metal from an old building, I was driving a friend's car at a speed that was unwise on the dirt road we were traveling.  Three overcorrections, two seconds, one turn-too-late, and in little more than the time it took me to wonder "is this really happening?", the car was on its side spanning the ditch on the side of the road.

I never considered myself the immature, foolish teenage guy that is the paragon of youthful short-sightedness.

I guess that was the problem.

There are a few lessons to be taken from this experience for me which I hope to communicate to all my readers- especially other young men like myself.  The first, and most obvious, is- always wear your seat-belt.  This may sound trite; let me tell a bit about my experience and you might see just how important that decision was in my case.

I wear glasses, as a general rule, when I'm driving; so I was during the crash.  The windows of the car were open.  About fifteen minutes after the accident, the young man who was riding with me set my glasses case in the trunk as he was cleaning up the mess inside the car, and I realized- my glasses were no longer on my face.  We found them sitting on a rock near the crash site; I can only conclude that they flew off of my face and out of the window in the incident.  That gives a good gauge by which to judge just the kind of condition I would have been in if I had not been wearing my seat-belt.

A wreck like that could easily have had severe consequences; it is by the mercy of God that I'm typing this while sitting in an office chair and not a wheelchair.  In God's providential kindness, my friend and I both walked away from the scene.

The bigger lesson from this ordeal, however, is the need for young men like myself to heed instruction; to gain "grandpa wisdom at daddy age," as my father says.

We had already fishtailed; I had already lost control on a different turn and bumped off of the dirt bank on the side.  A wiser man would have said "if there were a ditch rather than a bank, the consequences would have been much more severe; we should slow down."  I was not that wiser man.

I have been warned repeatedly about the dangers that come with young men who fail to ask themselves "what could happen if..?"  Yet when push came to shove I was one of those young men, and I only recognized it in myself after the fact.  Oh, God, I pray- let me learn my lesson now!  Let me remember this and not put You to the test again!

Perhaps the greatest irony of the event was that my friend and I had been meditating on Proverbs during the drive to the location in the morning, and again on the trip home that resulted in this crash.  We were mulling over the very Scriptures that we were violating in our unwise roadway behavior.

God is merciful.  I am grateful.

Please.  Please.  Learn from me.  Don't learn like me.

Oh, and the glasses?

Not a scratch.

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We got to host the Jost family on their tour this year; made a movie together with them; had some good ol' manly fun together with the guys.

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Attended the inaugural Arizona Patriot Academy.

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I made an adjustment to my brand, going from clean-shaven to a light beard.

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Attended the final San Antonio Independent Christian Film Festival (final for now, at least) with my dad and my sister; that was an incredible experience.  So many friends; so many Providences; so many stories.

While there, got to meet with a lot of great musical friends from the Rhapsodize Music Network.

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Speaking of the Rhapsodize Music Network... get yours on iTunes, AmazonMp3, Spotify, and elsewhere!  Let me know if you want a physical CD.

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Went on my first mission trip to a hospital in Mexico, helping to get it fully-functional.

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Last week, Dad preached a great sermon on time stewardship.  Got me fired up to set goals for 2014.  

"Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." - Eph. 5:15-17

Thusly, I have set goals for 2014; praying for the grace of God to grant me a warrior's mentality to accomplish them.  I'm not going to list them all, but I'll list a few, and you're welcome to check in on my progress, as well as share your goals in the comments.

- Read "The Institutes of Biblical Law" by R.J. Rushdoony

- Learn Spanish to the level where I can converse, read, and write fluently

- Learn First-Aid

- 25 pull-ups 

- 50 push-ups

- 5 muscle-ups

- Cold showers 3x/week

- Go to bed at 9:30 and wake up at 5:30, and start preparing for bed at 9, M-F

- Don't go to social media sites (Twitter, Facebook, etc.) unless I have content to post

May 2014 feature the sounds of cheering and laughter and the gates of hell groaning and cracking and crumbling to dust.  May the giggling voices of a thousand babies be born into Kingdom households; may the tearful joy of a thousand souls reborn join the chorus.  May the Word of Christ pervade our land as the waters cover the sea.  May we be faithful to turn every breath we are given into a song or a step for the glory of our King.

The Complacency of Fools

Have you ever had a moment in your life where you realized, deep down, sincerely, that in the next few hours, you could die?

Until earlier this year, my answer to that question would have been "no."

A few months ago, we went out into the desert for a men's prayer advance; not the most dangerous thing in the world, usually, unless you're a part of the army of darkness.

Part of the itinerary is that on Friday after lunch all the men go off and find a place to pray for a little while; this allows for time to really focus on what is being learned; time to spend alone with God and in His Word.

Off I went; I picked a peak in the distance (but it didn't seem to be any significant distance) and set off towards it.  On my way there, I had the vague idea that I wasn't quite paying attention and wasn't exactly sure how to get back to camp, but I figured that so long as I reserved a little extra time to get back, it would be no problem.

It's a humiliating, frightening, perspective-changing thing, being thwarted by a few miles of dirt.

The extra time that I reserved to get back to camp came and went, but no camp appeared.  Up one hill and down another; these gentle, rolling rocks suddenly became impenetrable camouflage, providing a vantage point when on top and obscuring any distant objects at all other times.

I discovered a huge variety of things that I didn't know were near our campsite; the Gila river, abandoned buildings, mineshafts.  I nearly stepped on a snake; that was- exciting.  Again at another time, I heard the distinctive rattle of our favorite local reptile.

Eventually I gave up trying to find the camp and switched tactics; I could see the highway in the distance, so I made that my new destination.  Yet now a new obstacle met me- the Gila river.

I heard some people talking in the distance, but after a brief long-distance conversation I began to suspect that they were the sort of people whose help I might not want anyway.  My trek continued, and I started back along the river in hopes that eventually it would cross the highway and I would be able to get help.

The sun was going down; my heart was sinking with it; though, praise God, I was afraid, but at peace.

Then I saw some kind of factory, its two imposing barrel-towers standing above the earth, its lights a welcome sight in the darkening desert.  I got to the factory and searched for a person, a phone- nothing.  The doors were locked; the area was unoccupied.

Never have I been so grateful for water as when I smelled, taste-tested, then gulped the water that came from a hose apparently used to wash trucks.

After doing some exploring and pondering (and taking another drink), I set off towards the highway again; this time, the path was clear.

Once there, I started waving down cars- well, "waving down" sounds a little less agitated than I was.  It was not the best location for doing so, as a prison was very nearby, but, thanks be to God, a man stopped.  Another moment of great relief.

He was able to call my Dad, and then he took me to a nearby gas station, bought me some water, and left me there for my Dad to pick up.

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The other side of the story comes from my Dad, who at first, when I didn't return, was simply planning to reprove me for inconsiderate lateness- but then he began to suspect that something was wrong.  Eventually, the whole camp was looking for me.  Dad, my little brother, and two other men took a truck out to look for me.

Micah, my 5-year-old brother, at first found it to be an exciting little jaunt, but as the sun set he said "I miss Gabe."

Someone suggested that it was time to call Search and Rescue.  Dad was about to dial 9-1-1 when another man in the car asked if he knew where they were; not wanting to call only to not be able to answer the questions of the operators, Dad decided to wait until they returned to camp, so as to be able to give an accurate location.  It was then that he received the phone call from the man who picked me up.

It was a tearful reunion; not the most idyllic location, but I was certainly thankful for that little gas station in the desert.

The sermon that we had heard just hours before?

How God often gives moments of preparation with Him- Gethsemane- before He calls for great sacrifice- Golgotha.

Dad had honestly and genuinely figured that I was dead.  He says that he now knows just a fraction of what it must feel like to have a dead son.  And even in the moment, he was praying that if this was his Golgotha, he was willing.

I praise God for a father of faith like that; odd though it may seem, it is the father who is ready to give even his own child if God requires it who truly loves that child more.  He has never failed to make clear to us all that Jesus comes first.  Jesus always comes first.  Oh, may that be true of all of us.

As for me, I had the most frightening, humbling experience that I've ever had; as I said at the beginning, this was the first time in my life where the reality of death stared me in the eyes.   I was immensely blessed, really; all the experience ended up being was a multiple-hour hike without much water.  Yet it was enough to serve as a powerful reminder of so many things.

As far as the other campers are concerned- well, I'll probably never live this one down.

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There's plenty to learn from this, of course.

1.  Don't underestimate nature.  I'm an Arizonan; I should have known this.  A few square miles of dirt is all it takes to kill us if God is not merciful.  People die from experiences like this all the time!

2.  Don't overestimate yourself.  "I'm a young, fit, obstacle-race-running teenage guy.  Surely I should be able to be stupid and get away with it."  Oh, you young, fit, obstacle-race-running fool.  Whether this approach is taken consciously or subconsciously, it is dangerous and foolhardy.  How many times must we be warned?

3.  Make your ear attentive to wisdom.  Actively make your ear attentive.  My parents have warned me enough about things like preparedness and attentiveness that I have only my own complacency and pride to blame for my danger, my father's and friends' turmoil, and the disruption of the entire camp.

4.  Pay attention.  The simple act of marking a few landmarks in my mind would have been enough to change this story into the story of just another normal day at camp.

5.  We have it so easy.  Years ago, pioneers traveled this land in small groups of covered wagons; cowboys roamed the desert on horseback.  Now, we scarcely venture off the asphalt, and when we do dare step out of our air-conditioned carriages, and wander a little ways off into untamed wilderness, we are so easily lost.  Let's not let the blessing of hot meals and cool rooms make us weak.  If those things are taken away, will we still be able to press on for The Kingdom of Christ, to still bless the name of God?  I don't want to be a soft man; though I have no aspirations of living in a covered wagon, I do want to take the occasional cold shower, or crawl under barbed wire every once in a while.

6.  Remember how short life is and how blessed we are.  Staring death in the eyes makes one appreciate so much and appreciate it so much more.  Tom Hanks in Castaway, after living on an island for years, was content to simply turn the lights on and off- and on and off.  We have so much; how much of it do we even notice?  How much of it are we even grateful for?  How much have we invested in our siblings?  Our parents?  Time goes by so fast; may we invest it wisely.

I'm sure there are more takeaways; point 6 leads easily into a discussion of the honor of parents- something else that God has been recently working in my heart about.  Another topic for another time.

For now, though, I shall conclude this chronicle of the providences of God by saying that I am so grateful to God for His mercy.

Don't be a fool like I was.  Learn from my mistakes, my sins- don't perpetuate them.

For the waywardness of the naive will kill them, And the complacency of fools will destroy them. - Pr. 1:32