Monday, August 6, 2012

The Gift

Over the course of the 18 years of my life God has blessed me with six wonderful younger siblings.  He has also seen fit to bring into the world some brothers and sisters that I never had a chance to meet- children who, though never brought, writhing and crying, into this world, were still, for the precious few weeks of their enwombed lives, my precious siblings- a gift of God.

It's a wild thing knowing that for some weeks at certain periods of my life I had another sibling on this earth- a sibling whom I never met, whom I never even saw.  I don't know if this sibling would have been a rambunctious little brother growing up amongst perpetual swordfights, bandages, and dirt, or perhaps a little princess for my brothers and I to coddle and protect.  I don't know if this sibling would have been tall or strong or smart, what color his hair would have been, what his laugh would have sounded like.

I do know this, for each of them: I shall go to them- they will not come back here to me.

I look forward to meeting them.

A couple times, after these bittersweet moments of loss, we as a family commemorated the occasion by taking a balloon and tying little notes to the string.

We released it into the sky- a little farewell, a memorial, a funeral, a celebration.

So I have special attachment to this little project that I was blessed to score last week- a project that connects with me in a way that is more than coincidental:

I don't believe in coincidences.

As I think about this piece of music, it reminds me so much of our babies that we never met- the simple, childish expectation- the bittersweetness- the climax that just barely begins to explore all that the music could have been and then disappears, waiting to be discovered on another distant day- the incomplete beauty- the emptiness of a work that was never realized in its fulness, and yet was worth every moment of its short life, something that could have been so much more, and yet was perfect in its incompletion, in being everything that it was written to be.

So I dedicate this piece of music to those siblings whom I never met.

We'll meet soon enough, beloved.

The Gift by gabrielhudelson


Bush Maid said...

Oh Gabriel... I can really tell your heart went into this piece. It's beautiful, as is the video.

Thankyou for sharing your family's story. Someday the separation will be no more, and I pray it is soon. :)

KGG said...

I also have two siblings waiting, and I look forwards to the day when we meet at Jesus' feet.

But this also made me think of my grandfather. He passed away several years ago, and I couldn't be there. My dad was able to fly back to the US from Scotland to see him and preach at his funeral, but the rest of the family had to stay here in the UK. I never really got to say goodbye. I'm thankful that it isn't really "goodbye", just "see you later."

And after the funeral, they let balloons go. Because we do not look down, but up.

RE Parker said...

It is rather special right now as a dear couple just lost their 2.5 year old daughter. It made me tear up.

(Speaking of unknown siblings...I have at least two--one before my older sister and one after my younger sister. I was so hoping for a little brother...)

Jessica said...

Thank you Gabriel, that was beautiful. I miss my little five that I never met. I just wrote a post for them on my blog:

I've read your blog for awhile (I'm a friend of Bria Crawford), but I'm just now commenting. Thank you.


Gabriel Hudelson said...

Hey Jessica! Nice to meet you. :-)

I'm glad to hear that the post was a blessing to you all. Thanks for commenting.

Annie said...

I have nine waiting for me up there. 6 older and 3 younger. Makes heaven that much brighter! (If that's possible)

Jemimah said...

That's just beautiful. I have three younger siblings who went to be with the Lord at a very early age. THis movie made me cry. All I can say is THANK YOU. I dream of meeting these precious ones every day.