So the Pentagon is opening up more combat roles in the military for women.
Yay! More opportunity for our precious daughters to get shot up and maimed! Progress and stuff!
So glad we got to the point where, as a nation, it's no longer un-cool to send your wife or daughter downstairs to check on the scary noise at night. For a moment there, I thought I might actually have to protect the women in my life. THANK YOU, PROGRESS!
My life will be so much more satisfying now that I can guiltlessly choose the path of impotent, bubble-wrapped mediocrity. Or maybe it'll just be easier... not sure about the whole satisfying thing.
Gender roles? Can I buy those at the bakery?
It's not like I ever wanted my sons to learn what it meant to love sacrificially; to lay down their lives for their sisters and their wives; to be men who were prepared to come to the aid of the weak and the oppressed.
I mean, goodness, can you imagine how oppressed my poor daughters would be if their brothers opened doors for them all the time? The chauvinism.
And if I ever come across a girl being attacked in a dark alley, well, I certainly wouldn't want to interfere with her opportunity to show her equality! Though I gotta say, I hope she went to the same school of womanhood as Black Widow and Catwoman and all those other movie stars.
And if she doesn't make it out of the alley alive, no reason for me to lose sleep! Natural selection has worked its will once again!
But I do have one more request. While we're progressing, and being equal, do you think we could make registration for the draft mandatory for girls, too? Just being fair 'n stuff.